i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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