I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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