I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
