talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
