It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You pole danced in your parka.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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