We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
