it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
