You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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