Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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