Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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