Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
