Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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