Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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