i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
