I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
