is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
