Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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