One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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