..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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