Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
