I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
