i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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