I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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