Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
