Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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