Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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