She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
