your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
