At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
