are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
