our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
