found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
