anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
