I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
