Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Randomize
