I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
