are you still at the devil's house?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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