we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
