Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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