dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
