wat bout pragnant strippers??
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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