So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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