He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
