Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
