you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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