You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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