i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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