I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize