I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
