ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
