There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
and she was petting her beer can
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
