I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This is the high leading the old right now
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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