We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she peed on how many people?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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