I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
