Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
A+ Viking dick
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
