She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
