New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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