Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
