I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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