We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
