did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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