meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
