so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
