the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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