it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
